J is only the second person I have had sex with, ever. Which, isn’t unreasonable considering S and I were together since we were 16 and we only split 3 months ago. But it also really helped me put my previous experiences in perspective.
It’s funny, S picked that I would hook up with J before I even thought about it. Apparently he knew it would probably happen well before we split as a ‘if we ever broke up, you guys would probably hook up.’ sort of thing. Not that he mentioned it to me at the time.
I’ve known J for about 2 years. He’s 11 years older than me and 4 years ahead of me in our line of work (that sounds way more exciting than it actually is, I promise).
He is not at all my type, in regards to dating. Which I suppose is why the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing works so well. Our political alignments are on opposite ends of the scale (He votes conservative, I vote to the Left) which means our base ideologies would likely clash, he can be racist and sexist to some degree (I can handle it as a friend, but I do not tolerate that sort of thing in a romantic partner) and there is also the professional gap. Since I am still studying, I have very little income but he is a professional already, he earns a lot more than I do by default. I don’t handle that very well, I feel like in a relationship I need to contribute financially.
Also amusing is that he is the opposite of the aesthetic that I usually find attractive. I usually go for the skinny, tall nerdy guys but J is my height (I’m average height for a girl), hairy and very solidly built. I never thought I would like facial hair either, but I have since discovered that I don’t mind it at all.
So far we’ve only slept together on two occasions (multiple times on said occasions though), mainly due to the fact that he lives an hour away and we both have very, very busy schedules. After the first time, I felt like he suddenly got very distant and I was shitting myself for two weeks because I thought that something had changed and that I’d made a huge mistake. But as I have since found out, there were reasons that had nothing to do with me, which is a huge relief.
So, so far it seems that I am navigating the waters of ‘Friends with Benefits’ or, as I like to say, Friends+, quite well.