Inconvenience

Thanks to my knee, it looks like I won’t be having any fun for a while since I will probably have my period by the time it is healed enough for me to engage in any sort of strenuous activity.
Turns out the random bleeding I had was just a bit of breakthrough from my implant. It happens sometimes. Ugh, bodies can be so inconvenient.
Like the last time I was with J, we just got into a rhythm when his leg cramped. Like, a full on stop-the-bus, try not to yell, cuss like a dirty mouthed school girl sort of cramp.

Tonight I tried to wank myself exhausted because I slept all day. Of course, 15min in, I was edging but then ended up with this tiny pft sort of orgasm and my drive disappeared. I mean, I probably could have been more aroused, gone for the knot in my ice dragon a little later too.

And the pain killers I took have worn off and my knee is sore again.

It’s a little concerning though, since that day where I had that earth-shattering, screaming orgasm, I’ve been feeling like everything is less in intensity. Like all the colours are washed out. I hope it doesn’t last.

Bailed

I was supposed to be seeing J today to go and see X-men (yeah, I know, it’s been out forever) but after I woke up at 2pm after the ball, the thought of driving for an hour to get to his house and then another hour to get to mine after was just too exhausting. Especially considering I have to clean my house and prepare for uni tomorrow. Ick, 7am rounds.
I feel pretty bad, I messaged him on Facebook and left a voicemail but got no response. Not that he is great at that. I’m terrible at responding to stuff so I cannot criticise.
I still want to see X-men because my inner Marvel nerd really wants to go. Maybe another night when I’m not feeling so frazzled.
I wish he didn’t live so far away. He used to live 15min from me, but then got a job at a different hospital on the other side of the city.
Not that I’m feeling like a randy hornbag right now, I just feel tired and gross. (Not hungover, I didn’t drink that much. But still seedy.)
That and I guess our dynamic is better with the emphasis on the ‘Friends’ part of ‘friends with benefits’ but I don’t know. I don’t know if friends with benefits is exactly the right term. We only fuck if we are sleeping in the same bed, it just happens as a sort of natural progression. Outside of that, we are pretty much completely non-sexual. Although I wouldn’t mind changing that.
Oh, and I still have a bite mark on my shoulder from Thursday. Heh, love it.

Edit: turns out he stayed up all night playing video games and was just as ragged as me so we have postponed.

Friends+

J is only the second person I have had sex with, ever. Which, isn’t unreasonable considering S and I were together since we were 16 and we only split 3 months ago. But it also really helped me put my previous experiences in perspective.

It’s funny, S picked that I would hook up with J before I even thought about it. Apparently he knew it would probably happen well before we split as a ‘if we ever broke up, you guys would probably hook up.’ sort of thing. Not that he mentioned it to me at the time.

I’ve known J for about 2 years. He’s 11 years older than me and 4 years ahead of me in our line of work (that sounds way more exciting than it actually is, I promise).

He is not at all my type, in regards to dating. Which I suppose is why the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing works so well. Our political alignments are on opposite ends of the scale (He votes conservative, I vote to the Left) which means our base ideologies would likely clash, he can be racist and sexist to some degree (I can handle it as a friend, but I do not tolerate that sort of thing in a romantic partner) and there is also the professional gap. Since I am still studying, I have very little income but he is a professional already, he earns a lot more than I do by default. I don’t handle that very well, I feel like in a relationship I need to contribute financially.

Also amusing is that he is the opposite of the aesthetic that I usually find attractive. I usually go for the skinny, tall nerdy guys but J is my height (I’m average height for a girl), hairy and very solidly built. I never thought I would like facial hair either, but I have since discovered that I don’t mind it at all.

So far we’ve only slept together on two occasions (multiple times on said occasions though), mainly due to the fact that he lives an hour away and we both have very, very busy schedules. After the first time, I felt like he suddenly got very distant and I was shitting myself for two weeks because I thought that something had changed and that I’d made a huge mistake. But as I have since found out, there were reasons that had nothing to do with me, which is a huge relief.

So, so far it seems that I am navigating the waters of ‘Friends with Benefits’ or, as I like to say, Friends+, quite well.